Here's to bad days

Artistic Director/Producer John Keller sent this along for me to post a while ago. I've been slow to do so because other tasks associated with this production and my day jobs have had to take precedence over blogging. We're in the final hours now, and John's message struck me upon a second reading as something worth sharing.  

"I found myself in rehearsal the other day after a long  week of survival jobs, fundraising emails, production meetings,  and miles of NBTF errands.  It was a hot muggy day as so many of our days this summer have been and I was for the first time not looking forward to coming to rehearsal.  Everyone I encountered was telling me how "tired" I looked and I was more ready for a nap then four hours in a dark hot studio.  But I knew the Apprentice Company was going to be there and we can't afford a single missed rehearsal, so off I went.  The Apprentice Company came and we began doing some warm-ups.  They were as hot and tired as I was.  Our productivity was minimal at best and we all seemed to know it.  I wondered if it wouldn't be better for all of us to just call it a day and go home.

Then Jen arrived.  Her work schedule that day required her to be a little late.  She took one look at this sad group of human beings and immediately took charge.  I suggested we sit and do some speech work as Jen is far more capable and articulate in that area.  We sat around a table as a group of artists and worked our way through the script.  We went back to the text and talked about what our story was and why where telling it.  Jen lead the Apprentice's through some articulation exercises and gave individualized notes on clarity.  The students began opening up about fears and concerns they had about the roles they were playing.  We were all so tired and worn out that no one had any energy to put up any defensive walls.  The apprentice's started opening up about what they felt were their weaknesses as performers.  Language was a big issue.  English not being a first language for some caused anxiety about English text and vice versa for the other actors.  They were genuinely scared.  I was a little surprised.  They had been fearless up to this point.  They had been charging full speed into rehearsals.  It seemed to be a day where everyone was suddenly coming to the realization of how much was being asked of us by our fellow company members and how much we where asking of ourselves.  

I forgot for a moment during that day what it meant to be a performer and what it takes to accept the challenge of walking on stage.  I have taken a step back from that part of production in order to get much of the behind the scenes work done required of a project this size.  The vulnerability of performance never really changes at any age level or experience level.  We just learn, hopefully, how to rely on our hard work to get us through.

I had a huge grin on my face by the end of the rehearsal.  We were all having a bad day.  And in that bad day we learned more than a week of good days.  The size of the project we are about to mount scared us a little.  I had a huge grin on my face because of how wonderful that is.  In spite of the possibility of failure we are doing the work.  Even when we have bad days we show up.  We come prepared, knowing that while failure is always a possibility we are going to do everything we can to succeed.  Both for ourselves and for everyone who is relying on us.  All the while ask ourselves:  What can I do better?  Where do I fit?  What do I have to offer?

Here's to more bad days,

John"

R&J opens Friday, August 19th. 

Two days and counting down. 

-Jen